Unclean

 I kept taking off my skin, 

Layer after layer, I peeled it off to feel clean, 

But the imprint of his lecherous touch remained strong,

All I could see was blood and flesh, pain and fresh agony. 

I kept looking at my pain, wondering if I deserved it

Longing for it to heal and grow new skin, 

Skin that was pure and pristine.

I set his hands on fire in anger

I saw him burning alive wreathing and screaming, 

Even though I couldn't hear his screams in my head, 

I knew he had caused himself pain, I wanted nothing to do with his life of sin.

Yet I remained alone in my fight

I had baggage, not a clean slate

As if I made a mistake by being weak 

I forgave myself but did you forgive me?

I was young, naive and trusting

And I couldn't fight back 

Yet when I told you my story, which one of you held my hands

It's nature , only the strong are rewarded in the wild 

So I hid my story and became one with all

Yet something inside me remained alive and raw 

And I kept looking for someone to accept it and kiss it 

And say it's okay 

But no one like that came my way,

The wait was endless

May be it's about breathing and accepting my life.

About being lonely and letting the pain stay.

May be I don't understand this fully, 

But I know there will be no more peeling.

This is me - flawed, scarred and full of love. 

If only you would sometimes sit still with my pain.