Random....

A random thought that came to my mind that I decided to write down.....

Trying to find something challenging to do. Getting into something that seems interesting. Thinking its pretty easy you can do it. Getting deeper and deeper into it. Realising how vast it is, how much there is to do, how clueless you really are. Still pushing yourself. Walking down the road making plans and to-do lists in your head. Starting off work with something you really didn’t plan to do. Forgetting to have your meal because you are working on something "so important”. Realizing the next day that whatever you had been doing on the previous day was quite useless & of no consequence. Seeing your work tumbling down. Wondering why you ever got into this in the first place. Fights, misunderstandings, volatile moods, tempers, criticisms….

Walking down the road wondering why life is so bloody unfair to you. Going numb. Ignoring everyone & everything.

Sleepless nights spent lying lifeless in your bed, staring at the rectangular patch of golden light from the nearby street lamp on the ceiling – thinking uncontrollably about your project – all the plans – all the “useless” efforts – what was needed, what should have been done. Suddenly getting an idea out of nowhere that links everything …… thinking again & again about the same idea – getting convinced that it will solve everything.

Waking up the next day to a vague memory of last night. Not feeling as convinced now that the idea can be made to work. Following it anyways. Watching things working out. Watching your dreams slowly turn into reality. Giving it the finishing touches. Finding yourself humming a beautiful song. Smiling at everyone you meet.

Periods of my life when I LIVED. Periods that are etched in my memory. Memories of random people unexpectedly coming & helping out. New friends, new lessons, new understanding.

That’s what life is all about. There is nothing more frustrating than an idle mind. Find yourself something to do, something to go mad about. A project, a song, an idea, your boyfriend – anything. You might not always succeed in the end – but you will realize later that the real fun was while working on it …… that’s when you really lived to your fullest – times that left behind lessons, memories, friends – everything that you’ll always cherish for the rest of your life……..